Or, maybe you do.... There seems to be two types of people when it comes to apologizing; those who avoid accountability for their actions at all cost, all the while minimizing how they act and impact others. These types of folks tend to blame everyone and everything for their struggle regardless of whether or not they are the one's responsible. Then there are those people who apologize for other people's actions, thoughts, and feelings, regardless of whether or not they had any part in it. Some might call this type of apologizer a martyr; I avoid that label and believe this person more likely has an anxious attachment style and is insecure in their relationship with themself and others.

We are all recovering from something. The minute we are born we begin healing. Isn't that part of the divine experience? Let's face it, life can be really trying. It is filled with incredible obstacles and challenges, and regardless of whether or not we have an affliction or an addiction, the mere fact of being alive in the world means that we are going to need some reprieve at times.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of hearing Dr. Gail Dines, the author of Pornland (2010) speak at the International Institute of Trauma and Addictions Professionals annual symposium.

Dr. Gines is a sociologist, a researcher, and an activist who has spent her entire career researching the negative impact the porn industry has on youth, both boys and girls, and men and women. 

This weekend I watched a touching short video that caused me to pause and reflect on the topic regret...here are the details of the video....

A chalkboard was placed in the middle of New York City for one day asking passersby to write down their biggest regret. The response was profound.

Being in a relationship is the hardest yet most rewarding job anyone could ever have. The reason for this is simple: We actually care about our loved one. We value their opinion, we care about what they think, and we want to be loved and respected (a basic human need). However, no one is officially taught how to be in a healthy relationship; and healthy is relative to each person. We learn about relationships by watching the two most important people in our lives; our parents or primary caregivers. How they treat each other, talk to each other, and engage with one another is what we learn to be "normal."