Eating Disorders 101

The statistics on Eating Disorders are mind-blowing: -24 million Americans, 1 million of which are men and boys, have an eating disorder in the US. Seventy-million people worldwide suffer from an eating disorder (The Renfrew Center Foundation for Eating Disorders)

-90 percent of those who have eating disorders are females between the ages of 12 and 25 (SAMHSA)

-91 percent of women on college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting (Kurth, Krahn, Nairn, Drewnowski, 1995).

-Five million women and 3 million men are believed to have a Binge Eating Disorder (BED) in the US (ANAD.org)

The new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual on Mental Disorders will be adding a new diagnosis to the current eating disorder list: Binge Eating Disorder. Although Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa have both been researched extensively, many people still do not understand what these disorders entail, including the new Binge Eating Disorder diagnosis.

This article provides a brief description of warning signs to look for to determine whether your loved one has an eating disorder.

According to the DSM IV-TR, Anorexia Nervosa is defined as: A refusal to maintain a body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for a person's age and height; Intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though a person is underweight; Distorted body image; failure to menstruate for 3 consecutive months. Individuals with Anorexia will refuse to eat and deny hunger, avoid eating in public, excessively exercise, especially after they have eaten, and weigh themselves repeatedly throughout the day. Someone with anorexia may be irritable, get dizzy, at times pass out, black out, or fall because of extreme hunger and malnourishment, be very thin (85% below normal body weight), have the shakes, and be tired a lot. Anorexia Nervosa can create very dangerous life threatening physical complications including heart failure.

Bulimia Nervosa is defined as: Binge eating within a 2 hour period, usually of mass food consumption of sweets or fatty foods followed by compensatory measures to prevent weight gain such as the use of laxatives, diuretics, excessive exercise, vomiting, enemas; a sense of a loss of control over eating, distorted body image. This typically lasts 3 months. Individuals with Bulimia Nervosa may go to the bathroom during a meal or right afterwards, be obsessed with exercise, have teeth and gum problems, trouble with swallowing, damage to the throat and esophagus due to acid, damage to stomach lining and other gastrointestinal problems, problems with bowels and digestion; scabs on their fingers from vomiting. This is also a very dangerous disorder than can be life threatening. Individuals have died as a result of tearing their esophagus due to vomiting.

Binge Eating Disorder is defined as: Eating large amounts of food even when one is full and during all times of the day/night; isolating when binge-eating in order to keep it a secret; feeling out of control and a lot of shame when eating large amounts of food. Individuals may restrict food when they are among family, then binge when alone on large amounts of food, to the point of making themselves ill. They typically have depression along with the BED that needs to be treated. Heart problems as well as other major health risks can result from this disorder.

When to get help?

Eating disorders are often life threatening. Unfortunately, an individual with and eating disorder may be resistant to getting the help they need because of the intense fear associated with change (i.e., fear of getting fat, fear of giving up "control", fear of dealing with deeper emotions). Family members can assist in this process by being a support to their loved one, making them an important part of the treatment process.

Seeking the right level of care is critical, since eating disorders are life threatening. At Namaste Consulting, LLC, I will do an assessment with you to determine if outpatient therapy is appropriate for you. Many of the clients that work with me also have a nutritionist and doctor with whom they meet with regularly to ensure they are getting all their treatment needs met. If a higher level of care is appropriate, I will support you in providing a referral and follow up. Contact me today to schedule an assessment: 240-257-6463. Help is just a call away.

Women and Porn

Pornography is rampant in America. Why?? Access, affordability, anonymity, contact. It is believed that 2/3 of American teens look at pornography while they study for school. There are 1.3 billion porn sites on-line. Sex is the number 1 topic for internet searches! This tidal wave has hit our culture, and it is impacting families by the millions. What about women...do women view porn? YES.

According to the 2008 Internet Pornography Statistics, 30% of pornography consumers are women. One study showed that 17% percent of the women surveyed admitted to struggling with some sort of porn addiction. Women can become addicted to pornography just like men. They now have easier access, can remain anonymous, and continue to present as the "good girl" in society, while maintaining a secret lifestyle on-line.

So, why is pornography SO addicting?

A Biological Component: According to the Coolidge Effect, men, and to a lesser degree women, gain renewed sexual interest once they are introduced to a new stimuli. Whereas the brain's satiate mechanism typically says "stop, I've had enough", pornography's images overrides this mechanism, leaving the brain to continue to stay "turned on". The neurotransmitter Dopamine, the "gotta get it" drug that motivates craving for pleasure, continues to surge, leaving individuals, men and women, seeking a continued rush from superficial images.

Psychological Component: Along with this, over 70% of individuals with porn and sexual addictions came from dysfunctional childhoods where there was substance abuse, physical, sexual, emotional abuse and/or neglect. Many people that turn to pornography and sex as a means of alleviating shame, guilt, emptiness, and pain. The "thrill of the rush" becomes the addiction more than sex. Viewing porn is a "safe" way, according to the addict, to get their sexual needs met without the risk of being rejected or abandoned. But at what cost?

What are the consequences of porn, particularly for women? Like men, viewing pornography can affect women's relationships. The thrill of the hunt to create a live fantasy from the image on the screen can strain relationships, while creating sexual scenarios that women may regret engaging in afterwards.

Along with this, since no one can compete with the images on the screen, we have seen an increase in plastic surgery over the last 15 years among female high school and college students. Women as young as 16 are asking their fathers for breast implants. It has become the norm rather than the exception for women of all ages to spend millions of dollars on plastic surgery, botox, make-up and clothes in an attempt to compete with the "ideal" porn star.

Nowadays, more and more women are engaging in more sexually risky behaviors in an attempt to alleviate feelings of emptiness, stress, and emotional pain from childhood trauma. Cheating, indiscriminate partners, one night stands, jumping from relationship to relationship, chat lines, participating in creating one's own porn, are some examples of risky behaviors that need to be addressed.

So what can be done? If you are a female and believe you have a pornography addiction or a sexual addiction, there is help. You may contact me today for an assessment. Individual and group therapy, 12 step work, education, abstinence,and a strong support network are key in relieving you of the pain of your past, and creating healthier lifestyle and relationships, free from pornography and sexual addiction.

Start your healing today. Call Candice Christiansen, LPC to schedule an assessment: 240-257-6463.

"I'm broke": A guide to filling your spiritual bank account

I often have clients who report feeling much angst over their finances, sharing that they feel as if have no money, are living paycheck to paycheck, or must wait to live out their dreams until they have more income. My response typically is, "Where else in your life are you withholding from yourself or others?" The reality is that money, like everything else in the Universe, is energy. The more you give of anything, be it positive or negative, the more you receive. Try this out if you don't believe me. Give someone a compliment, and listen as you receive multiple compliments in return, or make a list of all the things you are grateful for, and watch as more prosperity flows to you. Or do the opposite: try withholding, not sharing advice, words of wisdom, your time, things, etc., and watch as you begin to feel more scarce.

The American dollar says "In God We Trust." No matter what you believe regarding a higher power, the message is clear:have faith, trust that the more you fill up your spiritual, emotional, physical "bank accounts" the more you will receive in abundance. Or put very simply, the more you give, the more you receive. Yes, your thoughts become things. Your fears, if focused on too much, come true. So why not focus on filling your life with words of increase instead of decrease and watch as your financial bank accounts increase? Money is energy. Words are energy. So act as if. Act as if you are rich. I am not saying go max out your credit cards or spend money frivolously.

Instead, write out exactly what you want to creat in your life in the "now". For instance, "I am so blessed now that I have.... Thank you!" Be very specific on what you are asking. Then, put it in a special place in your house, and wait. Watch as what you wrote about manifests..... It truly is a magical process. Like leaves on a tree, money is everywhere and if we ask we shall receive...if,that is, we have filled our other bank accounts and keep the ebb and flow moving....takers do not get...this is one-sided....

My next women's workshop on January 22,2012 is on this topic....contact me today and learn more ways to increase all of your bank accounts and live your happily ever after completely put together (you were never broken).

***I also teach various tools on manifesting the life of your dreams in my counseling sessions. Call to schedule an appt today and learn how to live your life with purpose!

Namaste~

Does Sex really Sell? My answer is No.

WARNING: This Blog may be more blunt than my usual blogs. America is a society where sex is marketed as a commodity, to be bought and sold, both figuratively and literally. These days, you can go to any bar and see women dressed in scantily clad outfits, with fake breasts (especially in Utah where we have the highest breast implant rate per capita over Beverly Hills and New York), and a size zero waist (the oxymoron in that is that zero is NOT a real size). I offer therapy to many women who are dying (literally) to be thin by using laxatives, starving themselves, or abusing drugs such as heroin, adderall, oxycontin, and/or meth to be society's thinnest 3%~ an illusive waif child like figure that men are allegedly supposed to fall over. Sadly, many men blindly support this stereotype. Has our media succeeded or failed us?

With this being said, it appears that sex may be succeeding in being sold, but is it really? Does sex really sell? At the end of the day is this all that men and women really want? Has sex been degraded so much in American Society that it is merely about the orgasm?

At the end of the day, the well adjusted man and woman, regardless of sexual preference, wants to connect with someone on a variety of levels: emotionally, spiritually, and physically. For healthy intimacy to be nurtured both men and women need 8-10 non-sexual touches per day. In counseling numerous heterosexual men, the consensus among those that have an evolved sense of self and stronger egos is that they want a woman that is "for keeps", not "for play." This entails a strong, educated woman who knows who she is and what she wants, who takes care of herself emotionally and physically. They admit to enjoying sex with their partners, but that connecting in other ways is also very important. Physical attraction plays a part, but is not the end all, be all. Women report wanting a man that is well adjusted, emotionally sensitive but strong, intuitively connected to their wants and needs, and that respects them. Unconditional love tends to be reported as a key ingredient for both men and women.

My advice for young women who ask for breast implants as a graduation gift from their fathers (this is a popular graduation gift, believe it or not), or who want their vaginas sewed tighter so that they appear more "virgin-esque" on their wedding day (a female OBGYN shared seeing this in UT and thought it was very strange)?? Instead of changing your outward appearance to achieve someone else's sexual fantasy, save that money for your future (college, investments). Sex may appear to be for sale, but it doesn't sell at the end of the day. Long lasting love in a committed relationship regardless of sexual preference, does.

Namaste

Are you a sex addict? How to tell...

I work with many individuals recovering from alcohol and/or drug addiction. In the early stages of recovery (often within the first 18 months of recovery), many of my younger clients (between 18-26) report cross-addicting by having indiscriminate sex with multiple partners. In therapy, we often explore how clients replace their substance addiction with having sex as a means of attempting to achieve a similar high. When does this type of behavior become dysfunctional? When does one's behavior venture into the "sex addict" category?

I decided to do some research on sexual addiction, and this is what I found: Sexual addiction is defined as the following: Any sexually-related, or compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living. It typically causes severe stress on loved ones including family, friends; and on one's work environment. Sexual addiction has also been called sexual dependency and sexual compulsivity. It is a compulsive behavior that completely dominates the addict's life. As is the case with an addiction to alcohol or drugs, sexual addicts make sex a priority more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the drug of the addict's lives.

They are willing to give up everything order to continue this destructive and unhealthy behavior. Sexual addiction is not defined as having one specific behavior pattern. Specific behavior patterns, when they take control of addicts' lives and become unmanageable typically consist of one or more of the following: viewing pornography in excess, compulsive masturbation, compulsive heterosexual and homosexual relationships, prostitution, voyeurism, exhibitionism, indecent phone calls. They may also include: child molesting, incest, rape and violence. It is important to note that with sexual addiction, even the healthiest forms of human sexual expression can turn into self-defeating behaviors.

A sex addict craves validation, erotic highs/distraction, a "magical" sexual attachment that will heal all their pain, or at least offer some reprieve from pain. They fear: boredom, emptiness, shame, intimacy, feeling or being out of control. Security, safety acceptance, “one-ness” (merging of two people into one). A sex addict is often attracted to physically attractive people; they typically have a fantasy of someone who will give them a sense of validation, even if it is only sexual gratification; someone who will care for them, even if only in the bedroom. So, what does one do if they can relate to these symptoms? As a therapist, I would advise individuals concerned about having the above described behaviors to seek counseling immediately.

Talking about sex addict behavior and learning healthy tools for coping with the “whys” behind the specific addictive behaviors, can heal past wounds, current relationships, and keep the individual and society safe. If you believe you are a sex addict, or know someone with the described behaviors, and would like help, please email me at namasteadvice@gmail.com, or contact me at 240-257-6463. ***Some of the information from this blog was adapted from the website by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., Sexhelp.com.***