WARNING: This Blog may be more blunt than my usual blogs. America is a society where sex is marketed as a commodity, to be bought and sold, both figuratively and literally. These days, you can go to any bar and see women dressed in scantily clad outfits, with fake breasts (especially in Utah where we have the highest breast implant rate per capita over Beverly Hills and New York), and a size zero waist (the oxymoron in that is that zero is NOT a real size). I offer therapy to many women who are dying (literally) to be thin by using laxatives, starving themselves, or abusing drugs such as heroin, adderall, oxycontin, and/or meth to be society's thinnest 3%~ an illusive waif child like figure that men are allegedly supposed to fall over. Sadly, many men blindly support this stereotype. Has our media succeeded or failed us?

With this being said, it appears that sex may be succeeding in being sold, but is it really? Does sex really sell? At the end of the day is this all that men and women really want? Has sex been degraded so much in American Society that it is merely about the orgasm?

At the end of the day, the well adjusted man and woman, regardless of sexual preference, wants to connect with someone on a variety of levels: emotionally, spiritually, and physically. For healthy intimacy to be nurtured both men and women need 8-10 non-sexual touches per day. In counseling numerous heterosexual men, the consensus among those that have an evolved sense of self and stronger egos is that they want a woman that is "for keeps", not "for play." This entails a strong, educated woman who knows who she is and what she wants, who takes care of herself emotionally and physically. They admit to enjoying sex with their partners, but that connecting in other ways is also very important. Physical attraction plays a part, but is not the end all, be all. Women report wanting a man that is well adjusted, emotionally sensitive but strong, intuitively connected to their wants and needs, and that respects them. Unconditional love tends to be reported as a key ingredient for both men and women.

My advice for young women who ask for breast implants as a graduation gift from their fathers (this is a popular graduation gift, believe it or not), or who want their vaginas sewed tighter so that they appear more "virgin-esque" on their wedding day (a female OBGYN shared seeing this in UT and thought it was very strange)?? Instead of changing your outward appearance to achieve someone else's sexual fantasy, save that money for your future (college, investments). Sex may appear to be for sale, but it doesn't sell at the end of the day. Long lasting love in a committed relationship regardless of sexual preference, does.

Namaste