This past weekend, I had the privilege of hearing Dr. Gail Dines, the author of Pornland (2010) speak at the International Institute of Trauma and Addictions Professionals annual symposium.
Dr. Gines is a sociologist, a researcher, and an activist who has spent her entire career researching the negative impact the porn industry has on youth, both boys and girls, and men and women.
This weekend I watched a touching short video that caused me to pause and reflect on the topic regret...here are the details of the video....
A chalkboard was placed in the middle of New York City for one day asking passersby to write down their biggest regret. The response was profound.
Being in a relationship is the hardest yet most rewarding job anyone could ever have. The reason for this is simple: We actually care about our loved one. We value their opinion, we care about what they think, and we want to be loved and respected (a basic human need). However, no one is officially taught how to be in a healthy relationship; and healthy is relative to each person. We learn about relationships by watching the two most important people in our lives; our parents or primary caregivers. How they treat each other, talk to each other, and engage with one another is what we learn to be "normal."
According to the Diagnostic Statistical Manual-5 (DSM-V), criteria for narcissism includes: A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by five or more of the following:1) A grandiose sense of self-importance (exaggerates achievements and talents) 2) Preoccupied with fantasies of power, success, brilliance, ideal love 3) Believes he/she is special; can only associate with other special people 4) Requires excessive admiration (or in some cases can get abusive) 5) Has a sense of entitlement 6) Exploits relationship; takes advantage of others for own benefit 7) Lacks empathy
"All anxiety, all dissatisfaction, all the reasons for hoping that our experience could be different are rooted in our fear of death. Fear of death is always in the background."-Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart, 1997 Each day, we experience a death of sorts, whether it be in the form of things not working out the way we want, or feeling frustrated or disappointed at someone or something. We also experience it as parts of ourselves or parts of our realities that die.
