This past weekend, I had the honor and privilege of being in a room with 6 men and women who had the courage to take their recovery from trauma, addiction, and shame to the next level by attending my bi-annual Mastering the Trauma Wound Workshop.
Six individuals that may not have known exactly what they were getting into, but nonetheless all extremely courageous and willing to go deep into the core of their wounds to guarantee they will have a better future.
I recently decided I wanted to fly a kite at a park near my house. The last time I flew a kite, I was 8 years old. My father was in town after one of his military trips and took my siblings and I to a school near our house. We each got to fly our very own kites.
Individuals with sexual addiction engage in sexual acting out behaviors that often go against their value system. Most wish they could have a healthy relationship; however, due to many having a significant history of trauma (neglect, sexual, physical, verbal and emotional abuse), they often have a tremendous amount of shame, fear of being vulnerable, and an inability to self-regulate difficult emotions. As a result, they are unable to be vulnerable, honest, and share intimacy with their spouse. Sex becomes a way to alleviate emotional pain and feel validated, even if short-lived and superficial.
Entering treatment for sexual compulsivity takes a lot of courage, especially in a culture where sex is seen as taboo on the one hand, but promoted and sold everywhere on the other. When men and women first enter outpatient therapy, they often continue to engage in sexually acting out via looking at porn, sexting strangers, engaging in various hook up apps, going to "massage" parlors, stripping, escorting; or engaging in the more hard core addict-offender behavior or exhibitionism or voyeurism.
Lately, I have been craving artichokes. It's not like artichokes are like chocolate where they melt in your mouth like Reese's Pieces. But, for some odd reason, I have been craving this salty-bitter tasting vegetable.So, this weekend, I cooked an artichoke and decided to savor the entire experience. Not much to my surprise, as I began to slowly peel each layer back, my blogger mind started to wander to the work I do with the clients that I help to heal.
