Over the past several months, I have been researching the topic of sex for a book that my colleague Meg and I are writing on non-contact sex crimes. Doing so has gotten me more interested in studying healthy sexuality.
Since so many of our clients come to us in distress about various intimacy issues, including partner betrayal, sexual addiction, pornography addiction, sexual/intimacy anorexia, we set a goal for our clients to be able to embrace healthy intimacy and sexuality, though to achieve this can seem like a long and arduous road.
Springtime is supposed to be a time of renewal, a time of beautiful awakenings; a time of enlightening rebirth. The flowers begin to bloom, the trees and bushes begin to develop signs of new growth. A variety of birds chirp each morning awakening us to the newness of each day. The sky is mostly blue, the sun is mostly out; and amidst the sporadic rainstorms, we are enveloped by a cool and familiar breeze.
There is a youtube video of famous real life artists Marina Abramovic and Ulay; two long lost lovers who reunite at her MomA Retrospective, "The Artist is Present" in NYC. Her exhibit involves her sitting quietly for 700 plus hours looking into strangers eyes and connecting with them with feelings not words. Without her knowing, Ulay shows up and sits in front of her. What happens is exquisitely powerful.
Or, maybe you do.... There seems to be two types of people when it comes to apologizing; those who avoid accountability for their actions at all cost, all the while minimizing how they act and impact others. These types of folks tend to blame everyone and everything for their struggle regardless of whether or not they are the one's responsible. Then there are those people who apologize for other people's actions, thoughts, and feelings, regardless of whether or not they had any part in it. Some might call this type of apologizer a martyr; I avoid that label and believe this person more likely has an anxious attachment style and is insecure in their relationship with themself and others.
We are all recovering from something. The minute we are born we begin healing. Isn't that part of the divine experience? Let's face it, life can be really trying. It is filled with incredible obstacles and challenges, and regardless of whether or not we have an affliction or an addiction, the mere fact of being alive in the world means that we are going to need some reprieve at times.