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Untether Your Anger: Free Yourself From Your Own Poison

It is not a surprise that I talk about addiction as much as I do. When you treat it day in and day out, one can't help but have it on their mind most of the time.

The interesting thing about addiction is that it really is a coping skill. I am not saying that as an excuse; it just is.

Expectation: Is It The Root of All Heartache?

People have expectations every single day. They have the expectation that they will get up in the morning, follow their daily routine without thinking much about it, go to work in some fashion (even if work is staying home with the kids; which is a 24/7 job). People also have a lot of expectations of their loved ones. Most people don't realize that by having certain expectations, especially of their intimate partner, they create their own heartache.

Lust Vs. Disgust: Treating the Intimacy Disorder Spectrum

I love the picture of Kristen Wiig, former cast member of Saturday Night Live, displaying a face of disgust in her typical, humorous fashion. Yet, while Kristen often makes a subject that would otherwise seem embarrassing or "yucky" sound and look hilarious, in reality, we tend to experience otherwise.

In fact, when most people think of disgust, they typically recall a person, place, thing, or experience in their lives where they felt ashamed, disturbed, and/or grossed out.

Sex Does Not Equal Love

My colleague and expert in partner and trauma therapy, Jill Seely, emailed me a quote this morning from Mary Anne Layden. Mary says: "... We are hardwired to love and be loved. That's what feeds our hungry heart..." She adds, "We have a generation who are starved and have hungry hearts...They are eating the sexual junk food... because they are so starved they would eat junk food if that's all that's available to them."

The Sex Addiction Cycle: How to Tell If You are In It and What To Do About It

Crystal was fairly new to recovery from sex and love addiction when she experienced a death of a loved one. Shocked, hurt, and feeling rejected, Crystal immediately went into cycle. She became pre-occupied (this is first part of the relapse cycle) with destructive thoughts that included blaming those close to her (her boyfriend, and family), feeling like she was not good enough as well as undeserving of having any further recovery. She projected her hurt onto others and found herself longing for the attention from men (not her boyfriend) in an attempt to escape her pain and soothe her discomfort.

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