We are fragile, handle each other with care...
I recently lost someone very close and dear to my heart: my mother. The pain of something like this is truly indescribable. I was at a loss for words last week as I swam in deep and varied emotions that fluctuated between shock and dismay to numbness and unreality. Thus, I was unable to write last week's Monday Meditation.
A lot can happen in one week, especially when there is something as impactful as a death. It can cause one to take quite a large and intentional step back and reflect on everything in their life: all their relationships both past and present, their life purpose, their values and belief system, their goals and dreams, even their character.
One thing I am being reminded of through this very difficult process is just how fragile we truly are, especially in relationship with others. There is such a delicate dance that takes place between the people we love. We have a tendency to forget that what we endure as innocent children and teens actually stays in our hearts and can cause us to be impacted on a very primal and intense scale as adults and with our families of origin~ especially if there is tragic event.
So what can we do with both ourselves and our loved ones that are still alive so that we are able to live our best lives as our best selves?
1. Handle yourself and others with care. If you were to imagine tape wrapped around your heart that says, "Fragile: Handle With Care" would you be more gentle on yourself? If you saw this sign on others, would you treat them differently (better perhaps)? Or would you continue to judge yourself and others as harshly as you may already? Be mindful that words often can cut like a knife, and actions can feel even worse (included in words are lies which can cut like the jagged edge of a dull knife, causing major infection and destroying a relationship).
2. Forgive yourself and everyone (especially your family, both biological and created): Forgiveness in my world means "letting go with compassion and self-protection." How is it working for you to hold onto resentment? Who really suffers?
Free yourself of the pain and take your power back with compassion for yourself and for the other person (after all, they are likely suffering too). By letting go, you no longer allow yourself to stay chained to the past or present,including hurtful words or events. You are now free!
3. Be Accountable for Your Part: What part(s) of your relationships can you own? I.e., Do you have a hard time saying "sorry", or do you struggle with listening? Or do you have a hard time talking with your loved one(s) without being defensive or the opposite, do you mentally check out when the going gets tough? Along these lines, what parts are you owning that are not yours? Where are you being too accountable (i.e., taking on other people's issues and problems). How does this keep you from finding your truth and embracing your own essence, purpose, and divinity? Be accountable for your part, and only your part. There is grace in this...
4. Practice living in Grace. I was told several times this past week that I handled my mom's transition, including her memorial with grace. Uncertain of the exact definition of the word grace, I looked it up. The definition that resonated with met the most is: "A disposition or act of kindness." What, if anything, would change in your life, if your actions and your words emanated self-kindness, or rather, grace?
In this amazing and yet challenging time we live in, we must remember how fragile we are. Although we may look grown up, our hearts are often wrapped with bubble wrap and tape that says, "Fragile: Handle With Care." This week, practice seeing yourself and others from this space. Let yourself be mindful of what you say to yourself and to others; forgive (let go!), and live in grace. You will feel lighter and more connected to your inner divinity, I promise.
Remember, you are SO worth it.