In any relationship, especially when things are challenging, we are often asked to listen to our heart or listen to our head. But what about listening to your gut?
For instance, have you ever had a "gut feeling" about a person or situation that, when it came true, you were glad you had felt it prior? How about waking up with a sensation in your gut (such as anxiety in your stomach via "butterflies") then having something that you felt come true?
These are examples described by researchers in the field of medicine who are now referring to our gut as our "second brain." New research is showing that the "brain in your gut" is revolutionizing the way we think about our moods, digestive system, and overall health. Research is also finding evidence that irritation in the gastrointestinal system may send signals to the central nervous system (CNS) that trigger mood changes such as depression, anxiety, and irritability. Along with this, there is discussion that the second brain is impacting our cognition including memory and thinking (John Hopkins Medicine, hopkinsmedicine.org, 2018)!
Our body, including and especially our second brain, communicates with us all the time.We now know via ampleresearch on developmental trauma that trauma gets stored in our bodies and although many people forget, block, and/or compartmentalize their past trauma as a means of sheer survival, the body indeed keeps the score (it stores trauma in our cells and DNA). Similarly, it is now believed that our second brain alsocontinues to be a barometer that helps give us information as to what is going on around us and within us.
Are you listening to your second brain?
How often throughout your life have you ignored your natural knowing, intuition, "premonitions", even dreams that told you what was to come (i.e., deja
vu?) all because you didn't (want to) believe it for whatever reason?
I am here to tell you to START LISTENING to your gut! Especially if you are in a relationship with someone who has been unfaithful towards you via cheating on you with a person whether they are real or someone your partner and cybersex, or more "micro-levels" such as flirting, messaging women or men on facebook, sexting, sending pics, going to lunch or dinner for "business", or other means of cheating financial infidelity (spending money and not telling you, controlling money, gambling, risky spending), substance abuse/addiction, sex/porn addiction or any other addictive behavior. Note: my colleague and mentor Debra Kaplan's book For Love and Moneyis excellent if you and/or your partner struggling with financial infidelity, financial control issues, monetized rage, financial porn issues, etc. Or, if you have suspicions about your children not being safe at a friend's house, or something going on in their school, with a teacher, friend, coach, or a neighbor, or if you have a gut feeling about their behavior online, trust that! Look into it. Don't blow of your gut feeling that something is wrong.
For those of you who have your suspicions that something is not quite right with your partner, your kids, a friend, co-worker, or a business deal, I suggest you start asking yourself, "What does my gut say?" When you get an answer, which often comes in a variety of forms (i.e., by way of a subtle message, a dream, a little voice in your ear, a premonition, a feeling, other signs), LISTEN TO IT!If you choose not to listen, and especially if it ends up coming true (which is often), notice why you ignored it. Try to look at why you ignored the message without judgment and learn from it.
By starting to tune into your second brain and tending to your natural knowing, you may find out things that you'd prefer not knowing, but believe it or not, you will start to trust yourself more. You will also feel like you have more choices, and feel more confident (and competent) to create solutions for yourself and when applicable, your children.
Your gut never lies, dear ones, so start listening!
And as always, remember that you are worth it!
photo credit: free photo by pixabay.com
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