As a therapist working with men and women who come to see me due to hating sex, and avoiding it with their spouse, I am often asked, "Is something wrong with me?" This is indeed a delicate question. The challenge with it is that we are literally wired to be sexual to maintain the species, just as we need food to survive. While there may not be something "wrong" with the person seeking help, there may be a biological problem that could be impacting their sex drive (i.e., hormones, illness). During the initial intake, I request that the client get a medical check up from their primary care doctor to rule this out.
The Hindu word "Ashram" refers to a spiritual hermitage or spiritual retreat (Wikipedia, 2013). Historically, this sanctuary was located in a distance from human habitation and was a place where one would find inner tranquility and peace.
In my work with trauma survivors (many of which have sexual addiction), especially those who have been physically, emotionally, or sexually abused as children, some share the perplexity of having fantasies that disturb them while arousing them at the same time. As we uncover the deeper meaning of these fantasies, individuals often say that they experience a sense of resolve with this part of their painful past, and begin to be able to embrace intimacy in a new and healthier way, regardless of their sexual preference.
"What is your worth?" How do you answer this question?
Many people typically respond by assigning numeric value to their worth. One's response: "I am worth" is often followed by a disclosure of a numeric value based on their accumulated assets, etc.
If you take out the notion of assigning numeric value to your worth, however, and ask yourself: "What am I really worth?" What comes up for you? What thoughts, feelings, physical sensations arise?
I have treated hundreds of clients in my 10 years of practicing therapy and I must say that I am convinced that one's upbringing has an enormous impact on their future issues in relationships, and with various addictions. Let's face it, we have an addicted society here in the US. People will use anything and more to escape their "realities"....and the age when addictions start is getting younger and younger, no matter what one's faith or background. Neither religion nor other forms of societal control can stop it..... but you and I can. It starts at home.
