Deepak Chopra, in his wonderful book The Path To Love (1997) talks about the path to love "never being about externals"; he says that who you are with " is a mirror of who you are on the inside" (p. 4). He adds, "When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself" (p.4). It is so interesting how hard it is to see the mirror that our partner holds up that represents the good, bad, ugly and beautiful about ourselves. How hard it is for us to accept what we want to deny and yet how easy it is to blame our partner's for our misfortune and pain.
The path to love is not an "accidental occurrence but rather a very spiritual journey of seeking our true selves" (p.5). It is a great opportunity to reunite with our spirit once again. By denying this journey towards self love, we cheat ourselves out of true healing and growth.
Many of us have lost our sense of knowing who we are; our spirit self, or rather, our higher self. Falling in love is a means to regaining a sense of who we truly are from a pure space of BE-ingness; free of judgment and stories, of shoulds and can'ts.
As we "fall in love", we actually rekindle our connection with our highest selves, thus we really fall in love with our own spirit.
Saying, "I love you" to our partner or spouse is really a way of saying it to ourselves. After all, we can only truly love another as much as we love ourselves. This is something to be mindful of, especially if you have a tendency towards self hatred and self judgment.
The reality is, if we don't love ourselves, we cannot fully love others the way they deserve to be loved. Even if we "think" we are loving them, we are only loving them as much as we allow ourselves to have self-love.
The next time you say, "I love you" about or to your loved one(s), notice if you can connect with who you are really saying it to. Can you let yourself love YOU as much as you claim to love another person?
We are born to experience ourselves in our purist forms, as beings of pure love, innocent from life's daily occurrences. Self Love, my dear ones, is how we start to recover our true essence. Practice loving kindness with yourself. You are SO worth it!